Jedi Prank War
by BaronCat40
Summary: It's the annual Jedi Prank War contest. Watch as unsuspecting Jedi, and sometimes studio announcers, are pummeled by the pranks of 4 unlikely candidates-Ha ha! Bet you though I would tell you! You have to read to find out!
1. Chapter 1: The Studio

**I do not own Starwars. **

Hello, and welcome to the first annual Jedi Prank War! This year's judge is Qua-Gon Jinn! The contestents are:

Yoda!

Obi-Wan Kenobi!

Mace Windu!

And this year's favorite, Anakin Skywalker!

"Why am _I_ the favorite! I only crashed 3 ships this hour!"

Ignore him.

Ready, Set, Go!

No, no, no! Yoda! Don't press that button!

"Heh, heh"

[Censored]

*screen goes out*

Well, I guess you have to read to the next chapter for the second prank, as the first one was Yoda turning off the studio power!


	2. Chapter 2: Explosives

Chapter 2: Explosives

**I do not own Starwars, and if I did, it would not belong to Disney right now. What's the betting that the Emperor will sing in the 7****th**** movie? (yes, I know he is dead at the end of the 6****th****) I do not own Disney either. **

Welcome back to the First Annual Jedi Prank War! We unfortunately went off the air about an hour before we were scheduled to because some little green alien turned off the power…

"A little green alien I am not!"

Who says?

"Say, I do!"

But you _are_ a little green alien!

"No! A little, green, very powerful Jedi alien I am! Heh, heh"

*groans*

Anyway, moving on from that, Yoda leads the others 1 to 0! Now, as was supposed to be promised last chapter, each Jedi is allowed 100,000 pounds of C4, which is probably a dangous amount of have in one area, but who cares?

"Wee! Boom! Boom! A human bomb, I will make Qui-Gon!"

These explosives are not to be used directly on senteitents! Got that everyone? Anyway, the package says that recommended uses are: wait, why the heck am I giving you ideas? Go blow stuff up!

Mace Windu snuck into the temple kitchens with his new C4 oven rack. It had taken him almost 4 hours to make it. He put it into the oven…

The next morning…

BOOOOOOOOOOOM!

Obi-wan shot out of bed, calling, "Anakin! I told you to lay of the alcohol and not to go driving until the general public, including me, is awake! What the [censored] have you done this time! You can't have crashed another star destroyer this early!"

"It wasn't me Master!"

"The night before Christmas, 'tis was…'

"Master Yoda, what the [censored] are you [censored] [censored] doing singing that! I didn't put laughing gas in that C4, did I?" shouted Mace Windu as ran towards Yoda and tackled him, "ah, [censored], I guess I just proved that was me"

"HA! I TOLD YOU IT WASN'T ME! I TOLD YOU!"

"Damnmit, you're actually right for once, Anakin"

"All though the house, not stirring, was a creature, even not a mouse"

"SHUT THE [censored] UP!" Shouted the other 3 Jedi.

"Ha! Tricked you, I did!"

"Why the [censored] is my starship painted pink! I wouldn't mind purple, but pink?! What [censored] kind of fool is that [censored] that went and [censored] painted my [censored] starship pink! [the rest of this very long outburst had been censored because every other word was censored anyway, and writing censored over and over again gets very boring. So does eating pie.]

"It was Obi-Wan" Shouted Anakin

"It was not me, it was Commander Cody, regardless of who ordered him to paint that speeder, he did it. And that, Anakin, is the last time I let you in on my plans"

"[censored]

The next morning…

"Anakin desperately needed to poop. He ran to the toilet, sat down, and BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM! BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM! BOOM BOOM BOOM!

Anakin leapt aside at the last minute as, like a row of cannons fireing, every other toilet blew up and shot another one out of the bathroom and into Chancellor Palpatine's office.

"Anakin, what have you done this time"

"That idiotic [censored], this time it was not. Me, this was. Took a leaf out of Master Windu's book, I did, except instead of make an explosive oven rack, several explosive toilets I made. Heh, heh."

(in background)

"Why the hell do [censored] things keep [censored] flying into my [censored] office!" screamed Palpatine, "And why the [censored] is it always something that belongs in a [censored] bathroom?!"

"Ask Yoda!"

**This seems to be a good place to end this chapter. A lot more explosions to come! Yoda will be a bit of a pyromaniac… I will start taking votes for who should win the war in a few chapters, start thinking about it!**

**SCORE:**

Yoda: 2

Obi-wan: 1

Mace: 1

Anakin: 0


	3. I have a Bad Feeling About This

Chapter 3: I have a Bad Feeling about This

**Hello everyone! You get two chapters in one day! Isn't that great! The only catch is you have to review, or Yoda might visit you house with dynamite as he just did to me to force me to write this chapter. As the name suggests, this chapter is about Obi-wan's signature line. Anyway, I do not own starwars. Duh. Also, I do not own the Muppet Christmas Carol or the Muppets in general. **

Hello, and welcome to episode 3 of Jedi Prank Wars! We sincerely hope that you are not dead…

Each competitor will be awarded 1 million credits to use!

Just kidding! You can give them back now. You only get 100 credits.

"But I already bought a giant model of me! And look! When you pull back this sting," Obi-wan pulled back the string and let it go, "It does this!"

"I have a bad feeling about this"

Announcer *bangs forehead with fist*

"A bad feeling about _this_,_ I _ have"

1 in the morning…

"I have a bad feeling about this. I have a bad feeling about this. I have a bad feeling about this. I have a bad feeling about this. I have a bad feeling about this. I have a bad feeling about this. I have a bad feeling about this. I have a bad feeling about this."

"Turn that [censored] thing the hell off! If you don't, I will [censored] kick you to the nearest [censored] moon! And you can take that [censored] doll with you!" Screamed Mace Windu, woken rudely from his sleep.

"Give your doll to me, you should. Burn it up, I will"

"[censored] no!"

At 2 in the morning…

"The ghost of the Christmas past, I am"

"[censored]. Why can't a master with a purple lightsaber get a [censored] lick of [censored] sleep around this [censored] place?"

"A prank war we are in, Master Windu. [censored]! Gave myself away, I did"

"It's not like you are the only person who talks backwards, right?"

"Free candy! Get your free candy!" shouted Mace from the top of the table in the cafeteria.

Anakin walked up and took a piece, "Hey! This wrappers empty! Want me to help and split the points?" he grinned, " I'll get my wrappers!"

There were a lot of Masters, and knights for that matter, in the murderous mob outside the toilet stall Anakin and Mace were hiding in.

(in the distance) "I have a bad feeling about this"

"TURN OF THAT [censored] DOLL, OBI-WAN!" Shouted Anakin, Mace, and the Mob.

**Sorry that was such a short chapter, only 3 pranks, but I had an idea and did not want it to go to waste. Did anyone get the Bagthorpes reference?**

**SCORE:**

Yoda: 3

Mace: 2

Obi-wan: 2

Anakin: 1


	4. Chapter 4: Falures

Chapter 4: The failures

**This is the 4****th**** chapter, I hope you like it. If you don't press the review button on the way off this page and tell me what I should change. If you do like it, press the review button and leave a review anyway. Also, thanks to **ErinKenobi2893 **for reviewing. **

Yoda snuck into the rooms of all the clones to fight the droids the next day. He replaced their blasters with water guns.

The next day:

"Hey! These [censored] things only shoot water!" shouted Stater of the Obvious Bob 1.

"I guess we have to shoot at the droids anyway" shouted Stater of the Obvious Bob 2.

They shot at the battle droids, and too their amazement, the droids actually short circuited and blew up.

"Hey! These things actually work!" shouted not stater of the obvous Bob 1, who will be known simply as bob 1.

"I will contact the Temple and tell them of my recommendation to switch all clone units not on security jobs to water guns, as they are much cheaper," said unknown jedi who will probably die in a few minutes anyway, so why bother giving him a name?.

"It, damn," said Yoda, who had snuck aboard the ship to watch his prank.

At 3 in the morning…

"Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee! Wahooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!"

"I have a bad feeling about this. Anyone who is making that kind of noise at 3 in the moring is obviously insane," said the real Obi-wan, not the doll. You got that? That was the real Obi-wan, not the doll.

There was then a loud crash that woke the other masters and all the knights and all the padawans and all the clones and all the mice and all the- what's that? You got it?

" What kind of [cenosored] idiot is crashing [censored] speeders at [censred] 3 in the [censored] morning?" shouted Mace Windu, who, as we found previously, does not like being woken in the wee hours of the morning.

There was only one kind of idiot that would do that and his name was…

Please hold tight for a 'short' commercial break.

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Anakin Skywalker!

"You [censored]! Why the hell am I always woken at 1, 2, or 3 in the morning by that [censored] doll or some kind of [censored] explosion? Hey, wait a minute! That was my speeder! Now I don't have to drive a pink speeder! But, you owe me a new one! Have it painted purple! Thanks for crashing my speeder, Ani. I love you!"

Anakin was slightly disturbed.

*in background* "I have a bad feeling about this. I have a bad I have a bad feel- I have a bad feeling about this"

"[insert you favorite curse word here, see I said that instead of censored, isn't that a nice change?], I left my doll with the younglings again. We won't get another lick of sleep for the rest of the night.

**Sorry this chapter was so short, I am starting to run out of ideas. Anyway, press the review button and tell me what was good and what I should change. I will consider any prank suggestions. **

**SCORE:**

**Yoda: 4**

**Obi-wan: 2**

**Mace: 2**

**Anakin: 2**


	5. Chapter 5: Statues, Stinkbombs, and Sith

Chapter 5: Stink bombs, statues, and Sith

_**WARNING**__**: **_**This contains mentions of reproductive parts. If you are made uncomfortable by this, do not read that part. There will be a warning before and after that part. **

**I do not own Starwars. Duh. If I did, they would not be being made into a musical. **

**Thanks to ****ErinKenobi2893 for reviewing twice. Now, you other 219 people who viewed this, REVIEW, REVIEW AND REVIEW SOME MORE! Also, look on my profile for a poll on who wins the prank war. You decide, not me!**

"Okay, who the hell replaced my stature with a statue of a butt?  
Everyone but Obi-wan stepped back.

"Damn it! I'm caught! In that case, you shout know it's not any butt. It's your butt! I had an artist do it from a picture."

How he got the picture is another story that this author does not want to fathom the depths of.

*Random citizens runs by screaming after seeing the statue with his eyes smoking*

"Is it really that bad? I mean, I think my butt is quite handsome."

Obi-wan coughed while saying something that sounded like, "Achochyouachahachawishachachackahdaha."

There was a Jedi council meeting to discuss what should happen to Obi-wan for doing them all the disfavor of showing Palpatine's butt to the world, until it was remembered that they were in a prank war. The full part of this prank, however, was not to be discovered until Palpatine walked into his office.

**This is where it starts. Skip to the second prank if you want to skip this. It is only in the last part of the prank though. **

"Okay, who the [censoredcensoredcensored] replaced my beautiful art with [censored] statues of some [censored]'s [censored] testicle?!"

"It's not just any testicle…"

**It's over now. You can come back or get some eye replacements, depending on which option you chose.**

"I have had it! Someone get my office aired out and get a lock for it! Who the _hell_ put a [censored] stink bomb in my office?"

"Me, it was. Saw your red light saber, I did; so though I would give your office an appropriate smell for you, I did."

"At least it's better than those toilets"

Yoda: *presses big red button labeled "Detonate"*

There were several bangs, then the toilets went through the window again.

"That's it! I'm pressing charges! Unnamedredguardwhowillprobablydiesoonanywaysowhybo thergivingyouaname, bring me my charge button!"

Unnamedredguardwhowillprobablydiesoonanywaysowhybo thergivingyouaname, who will now be referred to as the red guard for simplicity, went away and came back wheeling a giant blue button with white lettering on it that read "CHARGES".

"I am now pressing charges"

Palpatine pressed said giant blue button with white lettering reading "CHARGES" and, as his hand with though it, he was electrocuted.

"Alright, I'll press charges on that company too." Unnamedredguardwhowillprobablydiesoonanywaysowhybo thergivingyouaname, bring me by _green _charges button!"

The guard gestured to Yoda as if to imply that he would do, then sighed and left the room, presumably to bring in a hopefully safer charges button.

**Okay, sorry for planting that image of Palpatine's butt/testicle immortalized in stone in your mind, but you have to admit, it was funny. Also, sorry this chapter is so short, I am completely out of ideas. I really need some (hint, hint)**


	6. Chapter 6: The Doll

Chapter 6: The Doll

**I do not own starwars. Sorry for the long wait, I got sick, then I made bread, then I got writer's block, and I am still lacking ideas. **

Yoda snuck into Obi-wan's room late at night. He found his doll…

The next morning:

Obi-wan decided to use his doll to annoy Yoda. He pulled back the string, "A bad feeling about this, I have. An idiot, Obi-wan is."

"YODA! GET THE [CENSORED] DOWN HERE THIS [CENSORED] MINUTE!"

"Here, I am"

"Why the [censored] did you [censored] mess up my doll?"

"Censored"

Mace snuck into Palpatine's office and rigged up a funny device to his desk. He left

The next day…

Palpatine had an important meeting with some dignitaries. He began to speak, "Now, as you can see, we are perfec-"

"You're an idiotic [censored]"

"Who put that there? Anyway, we are perfec-"

"You're an idiotic [censored]"

"WHO THE HELL PUT THAT THERE?"

"You're an idiotic [censored]. Yes, Master Yoda, Windu here. What do you need? Oh, [censored] this thing is still on"

"WINDU!"

**I am going to put this story on hold until I get more ideas. I will be working on my other stories in the Lord of the Rings section. If you review and give me ideas for pranks, I might continue this story earlier…**


	7. Chapter 7: Yoda's Beauty Contest

Hello, and welcome back to the First Hopefully-not-annual-anymore Jedi Prank War! I believe Supreme Chancellor Palpatine added the Hopefully-not-annual-anymore after the 496th explosive toilet launched the 495th regular toilet into his office. He would like me to inform the Jedi Council, especially Yoda in particular, that the Jedi will be fronting the cost for the 495 broken windows, 512 holes in his floor and walls, and his 398 killed assistants. Also, they will pay for the 213 desks that the toilets broke, and the cleanup cost, as well as the 104859843833453839583 charges buttons he went though trying to sue the Jedi and the charges buttons manufacturers. He would like you to know that he is a very dangerous Sith Lord who might kill you if you delay.

Moving on, the winner of the First Hopefully-not-annual-anymore Jedi Prank War is… Yoda! Second place is tied between Obi-wan Kenobi and Mace Windu. Last place goes to Anakin, my last pathetic life-from I picked up before I died. My current one is the ghost of Jar-Jar-Stinks, who was murdered by Jar-Jar Binks. Where is Anakin anyway?

A star destroyer crashed through the wall of the studio with the remains of Palpatine's desk on the nose.

"And the Jedi can pay for my destroyed office too!" Palpatine began pressing charges buttons again.

Anakin stepped out of the speeder.

"You thank, you thank. First, thank, I would like to, my partner in prank, Master Windu. Into winning this beauty contest, a lot of work went."

"Master Yoda, this is not a beauty contest" Windu tried to subtly inform Yoda of his mistake.

"What, say, did you?"

"This is not a beauty contest."

"Hmm? Repeat that, can you?"

"THIS IS NOT A [CENSOERED] BEAUTY CONTEST!"

"Oh. Then go change, I will"

The camera scrolled over Yoda's pink covered lips to his red dress and high heels.

While Yoda is changing, we will have a short commercial break.

Yoda's Green Perfume, buy today! Get all the Yaddles in the world to marry you, you will! Make many mini Yodas, you will.

Yoda, what is tacking you so long?

"Watching my commercial, I was."

We'll just put on another one then.

Buy Windu's Purple spray! See this ugly green thing (picture of Yoda shows up on screen)? Just use Purple spray, and you can turn it a lovely purple color! (Mace Windu is not responsible for any suffocation of living creatures sprayed, nor is the Jedi council, or the Jedi in general, though an exception can be made for Skywalker, damn you).

Yoda finally came out of the changing room, muttering things about Mace like "Too tall," "Not even green," and "not a single wrinkle."

"To thank, I would like, no-one. Won this award alone, I did!"

Master Yoda, try to be graceful when accepting awards after making a humiliating mistake.

"graceful, I will not be, except when running through this announcer-force-ghost-thing with my lightsabers, I am!" He then cut open the wall, grabbed and handful of wires, and touched random ends together. Lights started flashing, klaxons started wailing, and a voice said, "Warning. Self destruct initiated. Studio will self destruct in 18.53292885723920584234929440938745934752509109109123098755784911023871351091384013dontyoudareroundthisnumber234590224985098450184510498561-800-selfdestruct105981340958109845109840514095810581034985 seconds.

The screen then went dark as Obi-Wan ran through Qui-gon's force ghost (who was trying to press the all power off button but only succeeding in getting his arm to go right through it) and pressed the all power off button. A faint cry of "DAMN YOU SKYWALKER," and, "DAMN YOU YODA," as well as "WINDU, YOU DAMN!" could be heard throughout the galaxy. And thus the prank war ended, more-or less the same way it began.

**This is the last chapter! Thank you to the one person who reviewed, and please review! Also, a bit of advertising, I just put up a story of what Starwars would be like if Disney made the originals.  
**


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